swinetology

so for the past thirty days i’ve been living and meditating (drinking rum and popping pills) in one of the caves near pumpkin hill.

and i have received an epiphany.

it turns out i am a member of a superior race seeded here long ago (the piglaeozoic era) by aliens from the little known star system of porcinus.

this race originally came from the star porkyon B (i’m sirius) with the ‘B’ signifying bacon.

therefore those of us on earth today refer to ourselves as “Operating Bacons”.

there are twelve levels of “OB”s on this planet at present (i’m making them up as i go along) and more are developing as we get closer to the year 2012 as time is measured by the current system.

so what do you need to do to become an “OB”?

never fear, i have a plan in place for those of you who don’t know whether or not you are a member of this elite group.

to become a member of the sty all you have to do is liquefy all your assets and send them to me.  (all that materialism shit is just holding you back, anyway.)

i will put the money in a bacon and kool-aid fund and will have sole authority over this fund.

donations of US$100,000 or more will fast track you through level 12 OB at our “special facility” in an undisclosed location.

and don’t worry about this “swine flu” thing; it’s just a way of accelerating the assimilation phase of our program while making the price of bacon drop.

bacon.

it’s what’s for dinner.

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One Response to “swinetology”

  1. UTLgirl Says:

    LMAO!

    So, here’s all my money, all L 12.00 of it (try not to spend it all in one place).

    May I have the Kool Aid now please 🙂

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