50 things

I’m fairly certain this is erin’s (not her real name) way of getting even with me for the bacon vodka thing!

FOODOLOGY*

What is your salad dressing of choice?

salad?

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?

sit-down?

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?

BACON!!!!

What are your pizza toppings of choice?

Pepperoni, bacon, pepperoni, bacon, pepperoni, bacon & lots of cheese

What do you like to put on your toast?

peanut butter and bacon…it’s what god eats!

BIOLOGY*

Are you right-handed or left-handed?

it depends on the wine

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?

yes, but I can’t get the point off his head

What is the last heavy item you lifted?

a 500ml salva vida

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?

have I ever told you about hurricane gussie?

BULLCRAPOLOGY*

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?

No, but it will probably involve champagne fountains and a flower girl.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

return to sender

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?

I drink that shit for free

DUMBOLOGY*

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?

what constitutes a “pair”?

Last time you had a run-in with the cop!

yes, but I got out the next day.

Last person you talked to?

don’t know yet.

FAVORITOLOGY*

Season?

tony chacheries

Holiday?

yes, please

Day of the week?

this one

Month?

texas history month

CURRENTOLOGY*

Missing someone?

Yes

Mood?

hers or mine?

What are you listening to?

The roosters

Watching?

Bad Moon Rising CCR Tune – Acoustic Blues Fingerpicking Lesson From littlebrotherblues

Worrying about?

this rash

RANDOMOLOGY*

First place you went this morning?

toilet

What’s the last movie you saw?

The Tele-Tubbies do Chicago

Do you smile often?

I am smiling

50-OLOGY*

1) Do you always answer your phone?

nope

2) Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?

I don’t know; my phone’s turned off

3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?

no, I’ve grown kinda fond of red

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?

you gotta be shitting me!

5) Do you own a digital camera?

does anybody really own anything?

6) Have you ever had a pet fish?

yes, beer battered

7) Favorite Christmas song(s)?

merry Christmas from the family—robert earl keen, jr.

8) What’s on your wish list for your birthday…..

telling you that would land me in a pmita prison for being a threat to national security

9) Can you do push ups?

unless I’m eating a magnum bar

10) Can you do a chin up?

I had my chin up on the bar just last sunday

11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?

what does it mean when your sphincter clinches shut?

12) Do you have any saved texts?

yes

13) Ever been in a car wreck?

since 1949

14) Do you have an accent?

sheeit naw!

16) Plans tonight?

I’d have to kill you; and if they work out they’ll probably kill me

17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?

I passed by there enough times to know the bartender

18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday?

salva vida, salva vida, salva vida

19) Have you ever been given roses?

yes…dead ones

20) Current hate right now?

don’t be hating, it’s a waste of time

21) Current love right now?

220

22) Met someone who changed your life?

yes

23) How did you bring in the New Year?

I didn’t. I just turned around and there it was.

24) What song represents you?

dixie

25) Name three people who might complete this?

I don’t know three people who would do something like this.

26) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

I go back four or five times a day.

27) Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?

I’ve never dated anyone longer than 5’3”

28) Do you have any tattoos/piercings?

not on purpose

30) Does anyone love you?

only as long as my paycheck lasts

31) Would you be a pirate?

arrrrrrighty then!

32) What songs do you sing in the shower?

whatever the widowmaker wants to hear

33) Ever had someone sing to you?

Yes, actually

34) When did you last cry?

my second divorce, she was awarded my tear ducts (among other body parts)

35) What means the most to you?

the opposite of the least

36) Do you like to cuddle?

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!! Jesus Christ somebody stop me!

37) Have you held hands with anyone today?

yes, but they finally let go of my wallet

38) Who was the last person you took a picture of?

don’t know yet

39) What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?

There were no records back then. It was mainly banging rocks and sticks against hollow logs…and then the wolves would start to howl and we threw all of our instruments into the fire to make it bigger and crawled back into the cave.

40) Do you believe in staying close with your ex’s?

hell yes, it’s the only way you can keep them from taking everything else you have.

41) Are most of the friends in your life new or old?

new or old what?

42) Do you like pulpy orange juice?

no, but I do kinda like those chunks that form in your milk when you leave it out for a couple of weeks

43) What is something your friends make fun of you for?

for about 2.5 seconds…just before the taser hits ‘em.

44) Have you ever ridden an elephant?

yes, and that’s all we’re going to say about that; ok?

45) Do you like to play Scrabble?

neaux

46) What are you saving your money up for right now?

making sure that the workers in the cerveceria don’t lose their jobs.

47) When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?

just let me get this off my keyboard…

48) What song(s) do you want played at your funeral?

musical instruments don’t work at that depth

50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?

not again!

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6 Responses to “50 things”

  1. UTLgirl Says:

    I hate it when you make me laugh so hard I pee my pants…. especially when I’m sitting in YOUR chair 🙂

  2. Okie degenerate Says:

    You are killin’ me!! Tell that “Erin” (not her real name) that she is owed gallons of liquid bliss for this. By the way, where can I land one of those Tele-Tubbies do Chicago? Gotta be better than JJ pisses the bed at age 40…and he likes it!!
    Yep, this might come back to haunt me.

  3. UTLgirl Says:

    humm, I’m REALLY hoping by JJ you mean yours, and not JJ/Jungle Jim, cause for a second there I thought I had a Hell of a new one on this slow rumor week 🙂

    Damn, now I gotta go make something up!

  4. UTLgirl Says:

    Oh Jungle……

    March 7th? It’s the 15th now….. must I get ugly…ier?

  5. UTLgirl Says:

    Alright, you have a pass till the IE is done….. then your ass is mine, all mine I tell ya!!

  6. UTLgirl Says:

    Tick Tock

    One more day of IE then all bets are off

    🙂

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