lifestyle changes

i’ve been staying home a lot lately rather than going out to the bar (that would be tranquila bar).

this doesn’t have anything to do with a saintly change of attitude, temperament, or health concerns as it does with the fact that a certain crackhead has developed a habit of finding me there and begging for money.

as a result, i’ve been drinking less and spending less.

(i wonder if he’d stay away if i just put him on a retainer?  something like: “you keep the other crackheads out of my apartment and i’ll pay you a stipend each week.  and don’t be ambagious about it.”)

it’s a thought.

in other news people keep asking me if they are guaranteed to see a whaleshark if they pay to go on a charter specifically designed to look for whalesharks.

 “no.”

another question i get a lot is:  “does the water go all the way around the island?” usually asked by someone who carries test tubes on dive trips specifically for collecting the different colors of water.

 “no.”

another favorite question is:  “are dolphins really benevolent aliens here to save us from ourselves and our propensity for shitting in our own mess kits?”

 “yes, but our trash keeps clogging up their blowholes and killing them before they can get authorization from their masters in the pleiades.”

portions of the above message were channelled from chief  “two dogs pooping” of the galactic federation of drooling idiots and in no way reflect the beliefs or opinions of the mindless human puppet who typed this.

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2 Responses to “lifestyle changes”

  1. Trey Branham Says:

    I hope that you will manage to find your way back to the tranquilla so I can buy you a drink when we are down after Christmas. Merry Christmas Jungle.

  2. Hey Jungle,

    Be glad he hasn’t figured out you’re a Cowboy fan, he’d knwo where to find you on game day!

    See ya tonight…. “love nugget”… 🙂

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