spider bite
this spider bite has been in my foot for more than five weeks now and, even though it is slowly healing, it is still a major hindrance in my lifestyle.
for instance:
i can no longer gambol naked along the beach and through the surf during a full moon.
(how’s that for a visual?)
when i walk down the road i look like a geek who’s trying to learn how to pimp walk.
i have to lean to the other side when i wipe my … well, never mind.
every time i try to kick a kitten the wind whistles through the hole in my foot and throws my aim off.
wait, wait, there’s more!
i can blame my staggering on the bite when i leave the bar.
i’m discovering new pharmaceutical cocktails for reducing inflammation.
(have you ever noticed the way potatoes are ALWAYS staring at you?)
anyway, my foot has been redacted and i’m having trouble adapting to that.
i was hoping at first that maybe i would gain some kind of spidey powers that might prove useful.
not much luck so far but the other night i was sitting on the edge of the bed reading James Michener’s autobiography.
i nodded off (did i mention i was drinking a beer?), dropped the book on my foot and, without even thinking about it, found myself climbing up the wall.
it’s a start.
