state of exception

so here we are.

under a “state of exception”

this means that the following articles of the honduran constitution have been suspended:

Article 69:  The right to personal freedom
Article 72:  Freedom of Speech
Article 78:  Freedom of Association
Article 81:  Freedom of Movement
Article 84:  The right to due process

as a result of this, although passenger flights are still allowed into and out of the country, fewer and fewer tourists are coming in.

the noose around the economic neck of the bay islands is getting tighter.

even e-z-go joe (the island golf cart expert) is walking these days.

pretty much all of the people i hang out with are reprobates or sesquepedalians so i figure i’m violating one or more of these articles every day.

the ex-pats here are starting to band together and take care of each other as best they can in order to see to it that everybody has a place to stay and food to eat.

skid row has perfected the chicken fried bacon strip and there are still ice cold  frosty mugs of salva vida available.  at 20 lempera a piece during nfl games.

you gotta love that.

we’ll see how long the electricity lasts.

more hijinks

so then, mel, coward that he is, snuck into honduras under dark of night, safely tucked behind his children and his wifes’ skirt, ran like a scalded ass ape directly to the brasilian embassy, licked his wounds and immediately called for his “supporters” to risk their lives for him by confronting and prodding the legally installed honduran authorities.

what a man.

so now the whole country is under curfew, nothing is allowed in or out, and stores are starting to empty.

good, honest, hard working people now have to start scrabbling for the next meal to feed their families because of this.

and it’s all being supported by the good ole us of a.

you gotta be shitting me.

resurrection

yeah, i know it’s not even close to easter with esther and her wittle bunny wabbits wunning awound fertilizing everything and everyone.

but i feel resurrected never the less after this “illness”.

over the course of a week and a half i lost over 20 pounds.  for those of you who keep asking why all of the weight seemed to drop off of my face and not my belly here’s the science:

bite me.

the strange part of this whole experience is that i seemed to spend a lot of time hallucinating.  and of that time a lot seemed to deal with my ex-wife.

which is all the more strange since, aside from her lack of a thigmotropic response, there really wasn’t much of interest about her.

maybe it’s a center of the galaxy alignment thing.

giants my ass.

go boys!

the blogging business

now, now there’s no reason to get nasty.

i’ve been sick for the last four days (physically).  the upside is that i’m loosing weight (or my pants are expanding.

in fact, though, this may be my last official blog for a while what with obama and hillary fuelling the chavez train.

president michelleti has announced that honduras has about 5 months worth of food left.

none of that is earmarked for ex-pats.

dive shops are starting to shut down and ex-pats are being told by the immigration officer that if they do leave the country they may not be allowed back in.

i wish i could be funnier but this fever and headache is beating me down.

hasta luego.

marriage

i knew it!  marriage causes cancer!

A Chicago study involving 8,652 people aged 51 to 61 found divorced people have 20% more chronic illnesses such as cancer than those who never marry.

not to mention a sudden plunge into stupidity as well as a general ineptitude pertaining to all things important to the healthy functioning of society as a whole if you believe american tv and newly confirmed supreme court justice sotomayor.

this probably has something to do with the fact that bachelors are consigned to the fringes of society and have to spend their lives in sports bars watching “jackass” re-runs in order to more completely dumb down.

after all, they were apparently attractive to someone before they got married.

i can only surmise that it serves as training for their future lives as husbands.

however, i still find myself unable to reconcile this level of stupidity with the fact that men are able to amass such amounts of money as to enable their wives to move to the caribbean and support themselves, a couple of cabin boys, and an entire rum industry.

where, and to whom, do i send my grant application?

jet ski

this morning started off like many others.

the pain in my heel, my back, and my head.  millions of tiny jackhammers chipping away at innumerable nerve endings.  never ending, never comfortable, never finding peace no matter what position i sought.

getting old sucks.

in spite of this i managed to find some solace in a hot cup of oro coffee.  i strolled out to the dock and watched the day wake up.

the hammering started to fade.

then the buzzing began.

incessant, insistent, and annoying as hell.  (yes, i’ve been there.  second marriage.)

i looked up to see a jetski cutting through the water at the very top speed it could muster.  as close to the docks and piers in the harbor as it possibly could get.  apparently unaware that there is an eighteen mile stretch of expansive sea just 100 yards away.

with no discernible purpose (other than burning off what is probably an excess of fossil fuel and an eagerness to compete for the upcoming darwin awards) it sped back and forth, forth and back, from one side of the harbor to the other.

in a straight line.

it’s only because maureen (not her real name) bought me a pack of bacon that he’s still alive.

it would have been an easy shot.

another IDC in Utila

another IDC.

two students in this one.

both highly motivated.  this alone portends a class that will be a lot of fun.

it also means we’ll get in a few fun dives because we have 12 days to finish a seven day class.

fun times.

in the meantime the curfew has been pushed back to 11pm and the word is that it will end on sunday.

good news.

pass the word to all your compadres that honduras is still as peaceful and welcoming as it always has been.

with all the millions mel stole from these people they could sure use the help of a few tourist dollars right now.

the water’s warm, the breeze is cool, and the whale sharks are here.

take a well deserved break from your hard work.

come to the islands, brah!

independence day

normally a time of celebration for hondurans and american ex-pats alike today wears a different face on this little island of utila.

there is still celebration but not because of the united states and its eternal vigilance in the defence and nurturing of freedom.

it’s because of the stance this small country, the poorest in latin america, has taken towards democracy.

in what is believed to be one of the most corrupt countries in the world the honduran supreme court, congress, and military did everything by the book, exactly the way their constitution said it had to be done.

they took the required steps they needed in order to get rid of the cancer that is chavez and zelaya.

and to what end?  freedom.

what price will they pay?  isolation.

isolation from the very country they looked up to as a bastion of democracy.  a country who refuses to even consider a study of the evidence against chavez and zelaya.  an avowed enemy of the united states on one hand and a more than willing puppet/acolyte on the other.

in fact, the united states supports these two hyenas while, at the same time, turning a completly deaf ear to an old  friend who, at times, was the only friend the united states had in this part of the world.

but that’s ok.

because if the united states is too tired to continue carrying the torch, honduras is more than willing to pick it up and take their place as the light of freedom for the world.

do you hear that sound?

it’s the sound of  john wayne and thomas jefferson spinning in their graves.

happy fourth of july.

winds of change

the day after the change in honduran leadership looms quietly and, on the surface, it’s business as usual.

the fact that hugo chavez has threatened  military action against this country comes as no surprise to anyone.

he’s a megalomaniac with delusions of grandeur and this is going to put a crimp in this part of  his cocaine highway.

what is troublesome to the people of this little island is the fact that obama and clinton are taking sides with chavez, ortega, and fidel against what hondurans have done in accordance with their own constitutional law.

maybe hillary believes that, since her husband is above the law, her buddy mel is too.

before you judge these people you should know that, during mels’ term, honduras has achieved a record level of homicides in latin america as well as putting the price of basic essentials out of reach of the average citizen.

so they’re pretty happy about what has happened here.

what they’re not happy about is going to war against the united states in order to support a wanna be dictator.

a new vision

it seems the local methodist church decided to come down to the island with a medical brigade and provide everyone who needed them with glasses.

i was thinking that , since i was in the market for a few new beer mugs, i’d go down and see what they had.

it turns out these were the kind of glasses that actually make you see clearer, not the other way round.

anyway, i now have a new pair of spectacles.

on the surface of things you might think this would be a good thing.

the problem is that i can see clearly enough now to see just how ugly my friends are.

and if they are that ugly, well…

this necessitates the implementation of a new ARMS (Avoidance of Reflective/Mirrored Surfaces) policy effective immediately.

i’ll only be going outside at night for a while.